Laud - how ah gon' tell dis story and meh yuh see it. Ah mean you had to see it. The L train pull into deh station an' ay get on. Ah head to deh pole in front ta meh and hol' on. Meh back was hurtin' a lill' but ah didn't feel like squeezin' between people so ah hol' on. Two well dressed women was leanin' on deh door and gaffin' - both ah dem constantly fingerin' deh hair away from deh face - one had deh hair deh other had deh wig. In meh min' ah wonderin' why deh hell dis young girl got on a wig.
Well duh train stop at deh next station and Rupaul get on! Ah mean PINK wig; long long long black eye lashes yuh could almos' hear dem click, blue blue eye glass - ah mean eye contacts, nails so long deh curlin' an' curlin' - pink winta jacket wid white fur around deh colla,' cream pants an' sneakers wid lill' pink in deh soles.
Dozz of you who kno' Rupaul understan' why ah sey Rupaul; Ay love she. Dozz of you who don' kno' Rupaul gotta look fuh dat name on deh internet.
Wuh ah gon tell yuh gon' meh yuh laugh hard.
Yuh remember dem two women ah mention earlier... well deh one wid deh brown wig start to look at deh woman hard hard hard - yuh kno' - wid a serious cut eye. Like deh American sayin' ay was lookin' at Pink and ah was tinkin' "work it girl." So, I wan' to kno' why brown wig lookin' at deh woman up an' down, up an' down as if pink wig step pun sche corn, as if pink wig had no business freely flouncin' scheself in public.
Now you gotta to understan' dat ay lovin' deh woman in pink cause I love Rupaul; yuh gotta to kno' Rupaul man. And, deh ting is, as ah look closer, sche nah a Rupaul at all - sche is woman and sche good good lookin.' An' when ay see dis ay wan' fuh kno' more more why sche dress suh.
Now, yuh gotta understan' dat people starin.' Deh not starin' in sche face, is like lah lah lah as all eyes swivel from place to place waitin' fuh Pink to look away an' den deh eyes make a beeline an' stare stare stare. Yuh could almost hear deh tougts batterin' deh scull wonderin' wuh Pink does do wid sche time.
Brown wig tek it lill' furda; sche lookin' like sche wan' to slice up Pink and thro' sche away; is like to sche Pink wig do sche a personal harm. Sche was lookin' so hard at Pink is like sche wan' Pink fuh kno' dat sche pink wig inappropriate. An' ay laughin' inside because ay starin' at sche an' tinkin' - well at least Pink kno' sche wig is a wig - afta lookin' at brown wig finger tuckin' and turnin' deh hair pun sche wig ah start to believe sche forget is wig an'in sche head it turn real.
Ay turn back to Pink and ay wonderin' too - wuh sche does do? Ay want bad bad to ask Pink for a photo an an' interview. But ay was too frighten Pink might blast meh behind in public an' tell meh mine meh business - you kno' dat would shame me bad. Ay sneakin' a glance at Pink whenever ay can too. In meh mine ay want to kno' what would mek Pink dress like dat - stripper? Ay could see dat sche body in shape so ah tinkin' sche might have all dem piercins' in deh navel an' ting. Maybe sche does do dat pole dance dat is part ta nuff ah we fantasy.
In any case, deh conductor sey "next stop Dekalb Avenue;" deh train slow down an' ah hopin' Pink might get off an' ay might get deh nerve to talk to sche, but deh train stop an' deh doors slide open an' ay walk off and no Pink. So, again, it was a nodda story gettaway.
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